Hello, Fears by Michelle Poler

Author:Michelle Poler
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Sourcebooks
Published: 2020-03-12T16:38:15+00:00

The id refers to our instincts, those signs our mind sends to our body without much rational explanation. Like when we feel like eating a piece of delicious cake we see on the menu or buying a pair of shoes that are way outside our budget, or even when we feel a desire to kiss someone who looks attractive. Those are impulses that we constantly need to control or limit; otherwise, we would live in complete anarchy, and everybody would do exactly what they feel like doing in the moment without taking into account the consequences of their actions.

On the contrary, the superego is heavily influenced by external factors: our parents, teachers, friends, and community. Our superego is the ideal image that society put into our heads, all those expectations we feel pressure to meet. We are expected to behave well, be kind, be successful, have money, have a stable relationship, procreate, celebrate certain holidays, and believe in certain things.

Our ego is the one stuck dealing with our id and our superego. It’s like the middle brother trying to satisfy everyone in a way such that no one gets hurt—not too much pleasure and not too much pressure. Your ego’s job is to find balance and make the best choices according to your priorities and goals.

The biggest threat to our success is when our ego is not strong enough to keep our “superego” under control. We have so much pressure (internal and/or external) to appear as though we are okay at all times, that we’d rather not take the risk. Because when we set extremely high expectations for ourselves, and we live unquestionably by those expectations, we don’t allow room for error. But the thing is, our errors can teach us the most valuable lessons and give us the impulse to move forward.

On the other hand, when our id is out of control, we may take too many risks, but not in the smartest way. Such an approach can lead to failure after failure and eventually to frustration and low self-esteem.

People with strong egos are capable of dealing with their id’s impulses and their superego’s requests to maintain the status quo and still dare to take smart risks.

Choosing to see failure as a lesson is a choice, one we can get in the habit of making, but only if we are willing to work hard enough on redefining ourselves in the face of failure over and over again. This is a quality of those who I consider to be doers.

Dreamers and Doers

Dreamers are those who love to plan their *perfect future lives.* They can spend hours brainstorming and scribbling plans in their colorful dotted journals. They have pages filled with brilliant ideas, action steps, and rough, but promising, sketches. They have all the motivation, but also, all the excuses not to execute *yet!*

Doers not only come up with dope ideas, but they also execute them instead of waiting for others to make them happen. They don’t believe in excuses or wait for the perfect moment.

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